[draft for ideas]
Events are not "time for me" they are not "downtime". So when I go, I need to allow for recuperation, down time, afterwards.
My internal creativeness whatever that may be, is stifled. I need to open that up.
Both of the above play into my feeling I cannot achieve intimacy, as I am so wonting for the above that I tend to push back at others in order to try and get it... and since I am not aware that that is what I need or want, that push back comes out wrong and hurtful.
And I am discovering that when I DO allow "time for me", when I let it go, let me take precedence, that it generates useful information and feelings.
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