The past weekend was very hard. I was told, in a clear way, at a time when further processing seemed unlikely, that my outward appearance was something that drove people away. I was asked if this is what I intended, which was odd.
It took me a long time - the better part of 30 hours - to really process this, and it hurt like hell when it landed. It's taken me 3 days to get out of the worst of the pain of it, and I'm still on the edge. I still am reticent to see others, be around people.
I've a lot of things to reflect on.
It's just that this one is really painful.
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