Irrationality

There's a lot of "stuff" behind my reticence and anger over the camp.

I realize that quite a lot, maybe all of it, is largely irrational.

And that leads me to consider that a lot of it is about my feelings around my father.

So when I say I am harboring resentment, it is not resentment directed towards my siblings, but rather a deeper resentment directed to my now dead father. I push back against "do this, be this person", and that is a lot of what I hear when my brother expresses HIS resentment around the camp. It hits me, andI get irrational, and I fail to see that it is about my own resentment.

Step one: do a better job about taking care of myself. Learn to TAKE that time I need to be whole. Whatever that is, let go, let it happen, do it.

Step two: own this.

Step three: let go. None of it matters in the context of the camp itself. Either use it and like it or let it ALL go.

Choose.