Erotic charge

More on this...

The internally imagined seems, on reflection, so much more potent, more fertile, more "real" in a peculiar sort of way.

But on "meeting the master" so to speak, I'm left more with a sense of "why?". Sometimes this is tangible: the potential person is not clean, not interesting, predatory (I got that!) or something else.

But at other times, it is entirely devoid of clarity. Looks good, scent is nice, attitude feels right. What is missing?

The small group scene I encountered in the cabin was a good example. Nice looking, interesting, I was even "invited". There was an aspect I was really drawn to. And yet.. I backed off, lost interest. Not at all sure why. This feels like the bridge between imagination and reality.

I wonder if some of this is conditioning: we see, hear, view and then imagine in our aloneness "what would that be like?" and then perhaps "that would be SO cool"... But the conditioning cannot and does not ever prepare us for our own emotional confrontation should we decide to step away from our mind and visit the body in real life.

Of course, it also might simply be the state of mind. Mine was odd, confounded, dealing with sadness and, then, grief.